Friday, August 1, 2014

Introduction to "An American Work Project"

This is a compilation of funny stories or quotes inspired in part by The Office, which was not too exaggerated to represent the workforce tales of people I have known.  This collection is in its infancy, as I am presently interviewing and collecting stories by the day to make others laugh from their unforgettable moments that, for good or for bad, they can not ignore. One reason this project called on me to develop it, is because of the everlasting relationship of work to Americans, as it defines us.  This introductory excerpt is a fictionalized adaptation of tales from work in the years 2000-2014.  Some of these examples below may be pure fiction, as this is the safest method of delving into issues involved with some of the more reckless and outlandish of environments. Others are quotes I have been given or overheard from either from one workplace or another, or from family and trusted friends. Stories and exact quotes have been changed enough, leaving out names, business types, and other specific details as to render them indistinguishable from fiction.

Customer:  "The day Sarah found out her father died, she was in the middle of her shift and she just went right back to work, never took any time off... Isn't that amazing? What a good worker!"  Worker:  "Well, if it was me, you wouldn't want me at work, I'd be devastated...but I'm sure every person is different."

Worker: "They let hundreds of people go. Our department is cut in half. One of the men I work with, I do all of his work now that he's gone. Friend: "Seriously, you do all of his work? Did you get a pay increase for that?"  Worker: "No."

Woman walks into a business to drop off a resume: "Are you currently hiring for this position?" Front desk employee: "No we hired a girl for this position recently and she called in sick all the time. A few times she called in for just being on her period."  "Okay. So you're getting rid of the position?" (woman asks, bewildered) "Yes" the female employee at the front desk responds.  "Okay, well, thanks for your time." Woman walks away with resume still in hand.

A veteran employee walks past management office and hears lots of banging. He waits until two managers come out. "What's going on in there? Everyone alright?" asks the employee. " Yes", answers the assistant manager. "Should we tell him?" he asks the main manager. "Sure" says the main manager. "There's a mouse that lives in the wall connecting your office to ours. We've named her Mrs. Fandango."  "How long has it lived here?" The employee asks. "Several years", answers the manager. (veteran employee shudders, thinking of all his food that was left uncovered)

This is the beginning of An American Work Project, subsequent blogs will contain as many as 50 to 100 workforce tales both from fiction and altered nonfiction.  Please enjoy and laugh or sigh along with them as I have.